Wednesday, July 11, 2007

My Heart is Torn

In Loving Memory
Leslie Stallings Currie
(September 25, 1949 - July 5, 2007)

Casting Crowns - Praise you in this Storm

Chorus: And I'll praise you in this storm

and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

This song seems to sum up the struggle and heart break my family and I have been dealing with. I can't imagine what it would be like for someone who doesn't know God to deal with loss in the way we have. I am so emotionally empty that I don't know what to do. I think that I should be angry or sad or something, but I just can't seem to find any type of emotion, and that scares me. I cry at the drop of a hat, a picture, a familiar smell. And more.

I cry after talking to my family. I know that my Aunt Leslie would want me to be sad and deal with my pain, but I also know that she would tell me to go on and live my life with joy and happiness. She had a love for the Lord that was so apparent to everyone who met her. She made you feel like the only person in the room when she talked and/or looked at you. She made it a point to tell me she loved me everytime she saw me or left me. She went out of her way to make me (and all of my family) feel so loved. She had this amazing love for my cousin Rachel. I captured it once in a photograph. They are so beautiful and I still can't imagine that I won't see her again. I guess I just don't want to believe it.

I miss her. I miss her voice and silly faces. I miss the way she opened her eyes so that they could be seen in a photograph. I miss her nicknames and the way she loved Lala. Dollbaby. How wonderful was she? She was truly a great woman. I love her. I miss her. But I will make sure others know her and about her, especially Lala. I have so many great stories. I have the best family on earth and I know that once we get through this, we'll be ok. We will let Aunt Leslie live on. Our little ones will know all about her and we will make sure Rachel is lifted up and loved as much as possible. For we have much love to give and many wonderful memories to help us get through.

So, Aunt Leslie and Uncle John, rest in peace. We love you. We miss you. We will forever carry a piece of you in our hearts.


Janice Harris La Rocque said...

Leslie was one of my oldest and dearest friends. We met in the second grade (c)1956. Though our lives took different paths in later years, she has remained in my heart and prayers. Losing her was one of the great tragedies of my life but the memories of our times together,weekends at my house, her house and her grandmothers house help to ease the pain. my sympathies to Betty. David jr. Micheal,Craig, Bryan and Todd and to their extended families. I love and miss you all and I will never forget our precious Leslie.
Janice Harris LaRocque

David Stallings said...

Knowing and feeling the Love of my Aunt Leslie was one of the greatest joys of my life. Much like the photo that my sister captured, this woman had a capacity for love and understanding that was unrivaled in this world. She was the closest representation of Christ's love to the world save my Grandmother who taught her very very well.

Losing her is and was a very tough blow. Even to this day I relish every minute I had with her as those minutes made me feel as thought I was the most special person in her life. I have yet to understand how she was able to leave such an impact on so many lives.

This was a woman who was present at my birth, my baptism, joining the church, baseball games, high school and college graduation, weddings and so forth. If there was anything going on, she was there. Her voice and spirit could cut through a room directly to you like a tractor beam. You couldn't walk into a room without her greeting you and making you feel uniquely special. I truly feel like her favorite nephew even though every other nephew would fight me for that honor.

Her passing is still an open wound, one that words cannot describe. It is the indisputable fact that she is in Heaven that gives me peace and comfort. If there is anything that I can understand, it is that God wanted her back, knowing her full value and worth. I sure do miss her.

David W.R. Stallings