Casting Crowns - Praise you in this Storm
Chorus: And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
This song seems to sum up the struggle and heart break my family and I have been dealing with. I can't imagine what it would be like for someone who doesn't know God to deal with loss in the way we have. I am so emotionally empty that I don't know what to do. I think that I should be angry or sad or something, but I just can't seem to find any type of emotion, and that scares me. I cry at the drop of a hat, a picture, a familiar smell. And more.
I cry after talking to my family. I know that my Aunt Leslie would want me to be sad and deal with my pain, but I also know that she would tell me to go on and live my life with joy and happiness. She had a love for the Lord that was so apparent to everyone who met her. She made you feel like the only person in the room when she talked and/or looked at you. She made it a point to tell me she loved me everytime she saw me or left me. She went out of her way to make me (and all of my family) feel so loved. She had this amazing love for my cousin Rachel. I captured it once in a photograph. They are so beautiful and I still can't imagine that I won't see her again. I guess I just don't want to believe it.
I miss her. I miss her voice and silly faces. I miss the way she opened her eyes so that they could be seen in a photograph. I miss her nicknames and the way she loved Lala. Dollbaby. How wonderful was she? She was truly a great woman. I love her. I miss her. But I will make sure others know her and about her, especially Lala. I have so many great stories. I have the best family on earth and I know that once we get through this, we'll be ok. We will let Aunt Leslie live on. Our little ones will know all about her and we will make sure Rachel is lifted up and loved as much as possible. For we have much love to give and many wonderful memories to help us get through.
So, Aunt Leslie and Uncle John, rest in peace. We love you. We miss you. We will forever carry a piece of you in our hearts.