Monday, July 30, 2007

Was it just a dream?

I dreamed of life the way it used to be last night. My family was together having fun, laughing and i even believe a little bit of singing. Aunt Leslie was there loving and hugging everyone. Uncle John was cheering for the Gators. My mind is starting to play tricks on me. Just when I think I am through thinking of it, I come right back into the middle of it.

We went to my brother's new lake house this past weekend and it is so nice. A very steep walk to the lake, but a nice place to be as a family. Lauren had the best time swimming with Uncle David in the lake. David, Dad, and Blake all went fishing and caught some fish. They promptly returned them to the lake as we were not prepared to cook anything up at the new house.

Uncle David got his puppies (big dogs Anna and Jackson) in the lake and was teaching them to swim. A funny sight to see! We wrapped our long afternoon up around 6:30 and headed up to the house for some sandwiches and drinks. I think it hit me then that Aunt Leslie would not be there to join with us ever in celebrating and enjoying this new house or any of our or her accomplishments. It's not a sadness that is overwhelming any more, it's a sadness of missing her and who she was.

I think the sadness is still so overwhelming because we still don't know how Rachel is handling it all. She's been busy taking care of so many details and planning and repairing things that she hasn't really let it all sink in. I am praying for her, Ken and Donya and I know God is taking care of them.

Now I wait for my heart to heal and the joy to return. I know life will go on and that we will carry Aunt Leslie and Uncle John in our hearts forever. I am just so sad still and I really miss her.

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